Showing posts with label Social Life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Social Life. Show all posts
Sunday, 17 April 2011
Sorry!
Yes, I'm alive. I've neglected blogging for a while for several reasons. I'm totally swamped with work, we had a death in the family and I also landed myself in hospital. Again. Thankfully this time it was only for 4 days, but it did involve some fairly big surgery as it was for a nasty fracture with some complications. Yes, I'm an idiot for fracturing a bone. We have finally hit Easter holidays now though, so I'm catching up on rest, my social life and some work that I missed due to recuperation time for the broken bone. Safe to say due to impending doom (exams) I won't be blogging much now until August, but I do promise to stay around on the blog a bit more, and currently am welcoming suggestions for things you want me to blog about, so leave a suggestion in the comments box or email me and let me know!
Monday, 15 November 2010
Still Here
I'm still alive, I have lost a chunk of my sight, and am being sent for all manner of investigations into my eyes, joints, skin and heart, including seeing a geneticist, so everything's a bit crazy. I'm also on a clinical placement at the moment so learning lots in a very short space of time with long days, all whilst trying to maintain a social life and enter dance competitions that I'm probably not well enough to do. Tough times but I'm still here and still keeping going. Normal blogging will resume soon! I'm still on twitter and still check my emails regularly - let me know if you have any ideas for things you want me to blog about, or if you just want to get to know me better
Back soon!
Truffle
xx
Sunday, 29 August 2010
Getting Left Behind and Vanishing...
It's been a little over a month since I last blogged, and it's not been the best of months which is why I've not been blogging, although I'm still around on twitter. My grandad's been really ill and has been in and out of hospital and generally a big worry for me. My sisters got A level and GCSE results. No idea how my sister's A levels went and I don't dare ask but my baby sister did fantastically in her GCSEs so I'm really proud of her. I've come back to university for a couple of weeks because I've had some clinical placement hours to make up from when I was ill and things were strained at home because my mum's been so stressed.
It's generally been quite lonely because my friends I had at home have all moved on and the few friends I have at university have been home for the summer. I kind of feel like everyone is moving on and leaving me behind. I'm still the same shy, insecure person I was when I was at school. I'm still permanently doubting myself and my abilities, and it feels like life is passing me by and that I'm missing out on things that should be normal for someone my age, like going out with friends and just actually enjoying university life.
I also feel like i'm being left behind in terms of the blogging world too. I used to have a really fab blog but now, it seems like it's pointless. I have little motivation to write because I get little back from this blog now. The number of comments have dwindled and I just don't think it's worth the effort any more. It seems more successful and popular blogs have more popular people behind them and they're streaks ahead of me. Let's face it, who wants to read this when you can read blogs by people like Mark Glencorse and Stuart Gray? I guess I'm just going to have to decide whether I want to even blog any more, because quite frankly, it just doesn't seem worth it, and too many people keep trying to shoot me down and stop me blogging.
It's generally been quite lonely because my friends I had at home have all moved on and the few friends I have at university have been home for the summer. I kind of feel like everyone is moving on and leaving me behind. I'm still the same shy, insecure person I was when I was at school. I'm still permanently doubting myself and my abilities, and it feels like life is passing me by and that I'm missing out on things that should be normal for someone my age, like going out with friends and just actually enjoying university life.
I also feel like i'm being left behind in terms of the blogging world too. I used to have a really fab blog but now, it seems like it's pointless. I have little motivation to write because I get little back from this blog now. The number of comments have dwindled and I just don't think it's worth the effort any more. It seems more successful and popular blogs have more popular people behind them and they're streaks ahead of me. Let's face it, who wants to read this when you can read blogs by people like Mark Glencorse and Stuart Gray? I guess I'm just going to have to decide whether I want to even blog any more, because quite frankly, it just doesn't seem worth it, and too many people keep trying to shoot me down and stop me blogging.
Thursday, 15 July 2010
1 more to go...
Title says it all really. One more exam until I am FREEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thursday, 13 May 2010
Some Advice
This is a question I was asked a few weeks ago, via my formspring page. I thought it might help those students starting 6th Form, or about to start thinking about the dreaded UCAS (University and College Application System).
As a second year student, what advice would you give to anyone considering the same career path that you have chosen?
Think VERY carefully about whether this is REALLY what you want to do - you will be devoting your entire life to this degree for 5 years. You will lose your social life, and it will be hard to make and keep friends. Discuss it with your adults, your tutors, your friends, your family, ask questions to people like me who have already been through this (I'm happy to answer emails from anyone about this - dysdiadochokinesia@hotmail.com). It is hard, physically, emotionally and mentally.
It's a rewarding career but if it's not right for you, it will wear you down. Also - pick the right type of degree for you. PBL doesn't suit everyone, nor does a traditional course, nor a course with clinical placements from the word go.
Get lots of experience - being a doctor isn't glamorous like on Casualty or ER, it's hard graft and very demanding, and can often be very unglamorous - particularly when you're examining stool samples or putting maggots into leg ulcers! It's incredibly demanding, tiring and stressful. It can be upsetting, it can make you angry, get you frustrated. You'll experience more emotions in your first few weeks of clinical placements than you ever thought possible. It's a lot of hard work, and won't be much like you expected it to be. Do some work as a healthcare assistant or something in a hospital, do lots of shadowing.
If you're serious about it, go on lots of open days, ask current students about the courses and what they think about them, work hard at your A levels and GCSEs, and pick the right subjects for the courses you have in mind - DO your research. If you don't think you're going to get the grades, look at Access to Medicine courses, or Medical Schools that offer lower grades depending on what school you're at, or Medical Degrees with a Foundation Year.
Do lots of practice interviews, find out what they're like at the universities you've applied to - they vary a lot. For example, UEA is an OSCE style interview, whereas St George's University in London is a traditional interview with 3 consultants and a medical student firing questions at you.
But ultimately, do what YOU want, and what you think is going to make YOU happiest.
Good Luck
As a second year student, what advice would you give to anyone considering the same career path that you have chosen?
Think VERY carefully about whether this is REALLY what you want to do - you will be devoting your entire life to this degree for 5 years. You will lose your social life, and it will be hard to make and keep friends. Discuss it with your adults, your tutors, your friends, your family, ask questions to people like me who have already been through this (I'm happy to answer emails from anyone about this - dysdiadochokinesia@hotmail.com). It is hard, physically, emotionally and mentally.
It's a rewarding career but if it's not right for you, it will wear you down. Also - pick the right type of degree for you. PBL doesn't suit everyone, nor does a traditional course, nor a course with clinical placements from the word go.
Get lots of experience - being a doctor isn't glamorous like on Casualty or ER, it's hard graft and very demanding, and can often be very unglamorous - particularly when you're examining stool samples or putting maggots into leg ulcers! It's incredibly demanding, tiring and stressful. It can be upsetting, it can make you angry, get you frustrated. You'll experience more emotions in your first few weeks of clinical placements than you ever thought possible. It's a lot of hard work, and won't be much like you expected it to be. Do some work as a healthcare assistant or something in a hospital, do lots of shadowing.
If you're serious about it, go on lots of open days, ask current students about the courses and what they think about them, work hard at your A levels and GCSEs, and pick the right subjects for the courses you have in mind - DO your research. If you don't think you're going to get the grades, look at Access to Medicine courses, or Medical Schools that offer lower grades depending on what school you're at, or Medical Degrees with a Foundation Year.
Do lots of practice interviews, find out what they're like at the universities you've applied to - they vary a lot. For example, UEA is an OSCE style interview, whereas St George's University in London is a traditional interview with 3 consultants and a medical student firing questions at you.
But ultimately, do what YOU want, and what you think is going to make YOU happiest.
Good Luck
Sunday, 2 May 2010
Future HEMS Doctor?
When I joined Twitter, I started out as MedStudentFaye. That's me, that's who I am and what I am. Plain and simple. I soon realised thought, that I wasn't happy just being me. I wanted to aim higher. I wasn't happy just being mediocre or average. So, I became FutureHEMSDoc, in order to give myself something to aim for. However, this year, I've been doubting myself. A LOT. I haven't been at all happy at UEA, that's no secret. The course isn't really right for me and I haven't made many real friends at all on my course, or even at UEA in general. I feel isolated and alone a lot of the time, despite having a wonderful boyfriend (NorfolkDocToBe) but he's usually up in Manchester, but at the moment he's the other side of the world. I love him to pieces but him being so far away is currently very unhelpful! I don't at all begrudge him the opportunity he has in Australia, and am really pleased he's enjoying himself and travelling and learning a bit more about himself and what he wants to do as he advances in his medical career. He's made for medicine. I'm not so sure that I am.
I've had several lengthy discussions with many of my good friends on twitter about all of this - mostly Mark Glencorse and his lovely wife Sandra, as well as iMedicFF (who has put up with me crying far too much!) who have been fantastic in helping me decide what is best for me, and what I should do. (Thank you guys! Really appreciate all the lengthy conversations - I know I'm a pain in the butt, but you've helped me out a hell of a lot). But in the end, no matter how much I discuss this with people, it is MY decision. I changed my twitter name so there was no pressure on myself to be FutureHEMSDoc, but at the end of the day, I wouldn't be me if I didn't push myself. For now, I'm going to work as hard as I can at this medical degree, because I'm not one for giving up. If I pass the year, I'll carry on and work until I get to where I want to be. I'm not particularly bright, and I'm not popular or happy on this degree, but once I'm qualified, I can do so much with it, and I just can't waste that opportunity. I've got this far, and I couldn't forgive myself if I threw that away. If I fail the year, at least I gave it a go and did my best, but I'll then go and be a paramedic. I'd be happy in that job, I know I would. I love every single aspect of it, even the paperwork and the picking up drunks on a Saturday night, but I think I'd always feel like I lost the opportunity to do more. I'm not at all putting down paramedics and what they do - the VAST majority of those that I've met have been fantastic people, highly skilled and far better than I would ever be at that job, but as a doctor, I could do many more different things, and maybe even change the way a few things work for the better.
As I said in my first post, I'm stubborn, opinionated and I care a hell of a lot. Because of that I'm going to do my best whatever I do. I'm going to keep going out observing with paramedics as much as possible (if you're a paramedic or tech who wants an observer, give me a shout!! I'd love to go out with as many different people as possible). I'm going to keep working as an HCA in my hospital, and I'm going to speak to ambulance services about student paramedic jobs, and look into paramedic science degrees, because I'm still a little unsure.
I'm crying as I write this, not because I think I'm making the wrong decision, but because I think, for now, I'm making the right one for me, even if the world seems to be passing me by because of it, and because I've put a lot of people through my crying and worrying and stressing over all of this.
To everyone who has helped me with this decision, including those who I haven't mentioned by name: Thank You. You don't know how much help and support you've been. Honestly, you don't.
To everyone who has put me down and told me I can't do this, and told me to quit and that I'm useless and a waste of space, and that I'll be a rubbish doctor: I'm going to prove you wrong. You may put me down, and say awful things to me, but it's just making me stronger. I'm going to FIGHT until I have nothing left.And I'm going to do what's right for ME.
I've had several lengthy discussions with many of my good friends on twitter about all of this - mostly Mark Glencorse and his lovely wife Sandra, as well as iMedicFF (who has put up with me crying far too much!) who have been fantastic in helping me decide what is best for me, and what I should do. (Thank you guys! Really appreciate all the lengthy conversations - I know I'm a pain in the butt, but you've helped me out a hell of a lot). But in the end, no matter how much I discuss this with people, it is MY decision. I changed my twitter name so there was no pressure on myself to be FutureHEMSDoc, but at the end of the day, I wouldn't be me if I didn't push myself. For now, I'm going to work as hard as I can at this medical degree, because I'm not one for giving up. If I pass the year, I'll carry on and work until I get to where I want to be. I'm not particularly bright, and I'm not popular or happy on this degree, but once I'm qualified, I can do so much with it, and I just can't waste that opportunity. I've got this far, and I couldn't forgive myself if I threw that away. If I fail the year, at least I gave it a go and did my best, but I'll then go and be a paramedic. I'd be happy in that job, I know I would. I love every single aspect of it, even the paperwork and the picking up drunks on a Saturday night, but I think I'd always feel like I lost the opportunity to do more. I'm not at all putting down paramedics and what they do - the VAST majority of those that I've met have been fantastic people, highly skilled and far better than I would ever be at that job, but as a doctor, I could do many more different things, and maybe even change the way a few things work for the better.
As I said in my first post, I'm stubborn, opinionated and I care a hell of a lot. Because of that I'm going to do my best whatever I do. I'm going to keep going out observing with paramedics as much as possible (if you're a paramedic or tech who wants an observer, give me a shout!! I'd love to go out with as many different people as possible). I'm going to keep working as an HCA in my hospital, and I'm going to speak to ambulance services about student paramedic jobs, and look into paramedic science degrees, because I'm still a little unsure.
I'm crying as I write this, not because I think I'm making the wrong decision, but because I think, for now, I'm making the right one for me, even if the world seems to be passing me by because of it, and because I've put a lot of people through my crying and worrying and stressing over all of this.
To everyone who has helped me with this decision, including those who I haven't mentioned by name: Thank You. You don't know how much help and support you've been. Honestly, you don't.
To everyone who has put me down and told me I can't do this, and told me to quit and that I'm useless and a waste of space, and that I'll be a rubbish doctor: I'm going to prove you wrong. You may put me down, and say awful things to me, but it's just making me stronger. I'm going to FIGHT until I have nothing left.And I'm going to do what's right for ME.
Monday, 29 March 2010
Hardest Decision
So, I'm a week on, and nothing much has changed. I'm home for Easter and hating it. Family life is difficult and I don't fit back in anymore. To top it off, the boyfriend is in Australia so I can't even talk to him all that much because of the time difference (Time zones suck!!). I'm quite lonely here and all I want to do is sleep.
I'm having a real rethink about my life at the moment. I'm not really happy in medical school and I really don't know if it's the right thing for me. I always wanted to be a paramedic, but my school refused to send off the UCAS form with Paramedic Science on it, or write me a reference for a student paramedic position. My parents refused to support me in that career, and I knew that nursing and midwifery weren't for me, so I decided to just go for it and apply for medicine. I didn't think I'd get offers, let alone get the grades, but I did, even if it was by the skin of my teeth.
Since then I've been struggling with everything at medical school, aside from the practical things. The science is way beyond what I can cope with without doing stupid amounts of work. I no longer have a social life and the stress is having an impact on my health. I love the practical stuff, and fast paced patient turnaround, but other than that, there is very little keeping me here. I haven't made many friends, I don't go out or even dance anymore (I used to be a dancer on the university Dancesport team) and I just don't see a reason why to carry on. I keep scraping through exams other than the practical ones and I'm just not enjoying much of it at all.
I'm thinking about leaving it all and going to be a paramedic. It's what I wanted to do in the first place and I think it's really where my heart's at but I just don't know. My parents would hate me for it, I don't think my boyfriend would really be all too happy about it and I just don't know. I can't decide. I've agonised over it, shed plenty of tears and lost a lot of sleep over it. It's a very difficult decision but one I will have to make soon enough.
I'm having a real rethink about my life at the moment. I'm not really happy in medical school and I really don't know if it's the right thing for me. I always wanted to be a paramedic, but my school refused to send off the UCAS form with Paramedic Science on it, or write me a reference for a student paramedic position. My parents refused to support me in that career, and I knew that nursing and midwifery weren't for me, so I decided to just go for it and apply for medicine. I didn't think I'd get offers, let alone get the grades, but I did, even if it was by the skin of my teeth.
Since then I've been struggling with everything at medical school, aside from the practical things. The science is way beyond what I can cope with without doing stupid amounts of work. I no longer have a social life and the stress is having an impact on my health. I love the practical stuff, and fast paced patient turnaround, but other than that, there is very little keeping me here. I haven't made many friends, I don't go out or even dance anymore (I used to be a dancer on the university Dancesport team) and I just don't see a reason why to carry on. I keep scraping through exams other than the practical ones and I'm just not enjoying much of it at all.
I'm thinking about leaving it all and going to be a paramedic. It's what I wanted to do in the first place and I think it's really where my heart's at but I just don't know. My parents would hate me for it, I don't think my boyfriend would really be all too happy about it and I just don't know. I can't decide. I've agonised over it, shed plenty of tears and lost a lot of sleep over it. It's a very difficult decision but one I will have to make soon enough.
Wednesday, 17 February 2010
Disappearing Act
Apologies for disappearances of posts and of myself from the blogosphere for the last two weeks. I've had a few problems with a few things. Mostly it's been friends, ex-friends, moving house, sick housemates, sick pussacat, placement and my own ill health causing problems. Just about everything really.
In the mean time, I've been sleeping, hunting for houses/flats for next year, in and out of A&E, Doctors surgeries and hospitals (Probable kidney stones. Joy.). I've been working stupidly hard on my project on cardiac physiology. I'm writing a report, and planning and creating a presentation (for the record, I really really really hate MS PowerPoint. I hate looking at them, I hate making them, I hate them full stop.) and it's taking up a lot of my time right now.
On top of all that I've been coping with horrible renal colic, resulting in me being given lots of painkillers and a referral to the urology clinic. I've also been dealing with my mental health. I have an appointment for CBT booked, I've had my antidepressant dose upped and some of my regular medications changed. Just now it seems my brain runs at 100 miles an hour and my body can't cope. I am hyper for a couple of days and then I crash out and get more depressed and sleep loads and cry and have a bit of a crisis over whether I want to be at Medical School still or not. Quite frankly, right now, I don't know what I want.
I'm really struggling academically this term and I don't know why. I absolutely love cardiology, and I find it fascinating and highly interesting but I'm finding it really hard to get my head around the science. I guess I'm just not up to this right now with everything that I've got going on. I need to know how best to make me learn this and I can't work out how.
And to top it all off, on top of me feeling stupidly thick all the time at medical school, my housemate has just come in and made me feel about a centimetre tall. I want to help, really I do but I can't do anything. Right now, I feel completely useless no matter where I am or who I'm with.
In the mean time, I've been sleeping, hunting for houses/flats for next year, in and out of A&E, Doctors surgeries and hospitals (Probable kidney stones. Joy.). I've been working stupidly hard on my project on cardiac physiology. I'm writing a report, and planning and creating a presentation (for the record, I really really really hate MS PowerPoint. I hate looking at them, I hate making them, I hate them full stop.) and it's taking up a lot of my time right now.
On top of all that I've been coping with horrible renal colic, resulting in me being given lots of painkillers and a referral to the urology clinic. I've also been dealing with my mental health. I have an appointment for CBT booked, I've had my antidepressant dose upped and some of my regular medications changed. Just now it seems my brain runs at 100 miles an hour and my body can't cope. I am hyper for a couple of days and then I crash out and get more depressed and sleep loads and cry and have a bit of a crisis over whether I want to be at Medical School still or not. Quite frankly, right now, I don't know what I want.
I'm really struggling academically this term and I don't know why. I absolutely love cardiology, and I find it fascinating and highly interesting but I'm finding it really hard to get my head around the science. I guess I'm just not up to this right now with everything that I've got going on. I need to know how best to make me learn this and I can't work out how.
And to top it all off, on top of me feeling stupidly thick all the time at medical school, my housemate has just come in and made me feel about a centimetre tall. I want to help, really I do but I can't do anything. Right now, I feel completely useless no matter where I am or who I'm with.
Monday, 25 January 2010
Why Emergency Medicine?
Emergency medicine is really popular as a career choice. Mostly because a lot of medical students appear to have the misguided idea that A&E is all trauma and cardiac arrests and life saving.A proper adrenaline fuelled career. It might surprise you to know that medicine wasn't actually my first choice of career. I wanted to be a paramedic. I hate being in one place, I like the challenge of not knowing what I'm going to see next, and I've dealt with my fair share of drunk people whilst first aiding at concerts. That seemed my ideal career, however, I was encouraged to aim higher academically so I applied for medicine. By some miracle, I got two offers and accepted my place at UEA. By some other miracle, I then got the grades to actually start studying medicine.
So far we've studied rheumatology and orthopaedics, and haematology and dermatology. I loved orthopaedics but it involved far too much time in theatres for my liking. I found rheumatology and haematology very interesting but not practical enough. As for dermatology, I will say no more than Yuk. At the moment I'm about to start a cardiology placement, including vascular surgery and stroke medicine. I find cardiology highly interesting, but the long term management and surgery doesn't interest me as much as the immediate issues cardiac conditions can present. I like to live in the here and now and think on my feet.
So, in answer to the question, Why Emergency Medicine? Because I honestly can't see myself doing anything else. I love the thrill of not knowing what's coming next. I like management of simple conditions as well as complex cases. I like the here and now and I like to see what I do making a visible difference to the patient if it's possible. I work well in a team, I'll happily pitch in with the mess and vomit and lifting and carrying, and I make a good round of cups of tea at the end of a busy shift. I guess I just can't see myself doing anything else and I really don't see that changing. I'm determined to get to where I want and to be good at it.
Even if that means living in the library and having no social life for the next three and half years...
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